Breaking Down Sydney (Sydney West #2) Read online

  ***

  At two in the morning, I woke to giggling and someone stumbling into a desk. Amelia turned on the light and cursed to herself.

  “Excuse me, some of us are sleeping,” I said, irritated.

  “S—sorry, I think I had one too many.” She burst into more giggles.

  I sighed and rolled over, trying to block out the light.

  “Syd—ney? You are wake?” Her voice was low and strained.

  “Did you forget how to speak English?” I asked bitterly.

  She laughed and plopped herself down onto my bed. “No, just wanna talk.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. “This early? Even the damn birds are still asleep.”

  Amelia wasn’t going to let me go. With a heavy sigh, I rolled back over and gave her my best stink eye. “What do you want to talk about?”

  Her smile slipped. “Do you think Hunter will forget about me?”

  I felt my eyebrows rise. She was back to self-doubt and depression again.

  “What? Of course not. He’s been a mess since we left.” I brushed back a piece of hair from my face. “Jason told me how he wanders around like a zombie.”

  She looked down at her hands, which were resting on her lap. “I feel empty inside, Syd. I talk to Hunter all the time and I’m still hollow. You say Jason’s name like—”

  “I love Jason, but I’m not going to cry about the distance. We’ve already talked about this,” I said, rubbing my temples. I hated talking about the same things over and over.

  She closed her eyes and her lips trembled. “I miss him so much my heart hurts. You don’t hurt?”

  “I hurt,” I admitted. “I even put his picture as my wallpaper.” I showed her my cell phone.

  “You’re getting soft, Syd.” She laughed, then hiccupped.

  I sat up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She reeked of strawberries and vodka. “The party didn’t distract you like you hoped, did it?”

  She moaned, blinking back her tears. “No. I thought a party would be a happy thing, but my friends wanted to flirt with these guys and one wanted to dance with me. I said no and he danced with another girl. Watching them have fun as I sat by just made it worse.”

  I frowned. I shouldn’t have left my friend in pain. “Why didn’t you call me?”

  “Don’t know, just drank until the world turned hazy,” she muttered. She struggled to keep her eyes open. She was about to fall asleep on me.

  “Let’s get some rest.” I helped her into bed.

  She passed out in a few seconds. I took her shoes off and covered her with a blanket. She softly snored as I sat a trash can by her head just in case. Switching off the light, I went back to bed, only sleep was out of reach. I bit my lip and let it go, remembering when Jason tugged on my lower lip because he wanted me to stop my bad habit.

  Voices and scenes danced behind my closed eyes. I hugged Scooby-Doo and prayed the agony would subside for a heartbeat. If love was such a wondrous thing, why did it hurt like hell?

  Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you.

  A quote by Loretta Young. Perhaps that was the truth. I was trying to hide from love, but I never knew what it looked like, not until it bit me on the ass—hard. Cupid was an asshole and was making me his puppet. Spite and a sharp tongue were always my response. I needed Jason. I needed to know someone cared about me.

  Love is what entraps my heart and could be my untimely death.

  Now I was making up my own quotes about love. I was hopeless, and my hopelessness only made my thoughts drift back to Jason.

  It was too soon to say with certainty what would become of Jason and me. The holidays drew nearer with each passing day, but it felt like years instead of months before I’d see him again. I wasn’t sure if my sanity would last much longer.

  Chapter Six

  Two days later, Amelia and I were walking through campus, trying not to think about the California boys we missed. The sky was blue and the sun was beating down on us. It was still hot, and there was no breeze to save us like there was in Malibu. In Arizona, the sun wants to absorb all the water in a person’s skin, turning them into a bag of bones.

  Amelia slid her sunglasses up her nose and said, “I already need tutoring for my pre-calculus class. Don’t know why I have to take it anyways if I’m an art major.”

  I squinted, wishing my sunglasses were darker. “College likes to fuck with you sometimes. Believe me, I know. I had the worst class last semester.”

  She kicked a rock back into the garden between two tall brick buildings. “Anatomy, right?”

  A boy in a tank top waved at me. I ignored him and kept walking toward class.

  I hooked my thumbs into the loops of my jean shorts. “Mmm-hmm. Thought it would be like the show Grey’s Anatomy. Boy, was I wrong.”

  Amelia laughed at my past pain. “You wouldn’t shut up about that class. It drove me nuts!”

  I lightly hit her arm. “It was driving you nuts? I wanted to slap my professor every class period. That’s why I sat in the back row.”

  She snorted and glanced at her cell phone before sliding it back into her purse. “I thought you sat in the back so you could text and sleep.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I waved off her comment.

  A smile curled her lips. “Oh my God, you’ll never believe what this boy in my class asked our professor today,” Amelia gushed. She was trying to suppress her laughter.

  I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

  “We were watching a film and someone said something about the mile high club. Dude asked the professor what that was. Everyone in the class had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing out loud.”

  I chuckled, picturing it. “So what did your professor do?”

  She moved a piece of hair that got caught on her glossed lips. “He answered bluntly with, ‘it means having sex on an airplane.’ The man had no emotion in his voice, but his face was like ‘Why me?’” she said, giggling.

  I shook my head. “What an imbecile.”

  She nodded and wrapped her arms around her torso. “I know, right? Things like that during my day helps keep my mind off of…you know who.”

  I stepped to the left to avoid a girl on a bike and said, “There are always ridiculous stories to share.”

  She nudged my arm. “Your turn to tell me one.”

  “Hmm…” I looked at the pine trees by the science building. It was always strange that this university had pine trees; it was literally in the middle of the Arizona desert. How did these trees survive here?

  The art building loomed ahead. We stopped in front of a bench. “Okay, well, there’s this girl who likes to brag about her sex life in my relational communication class. Said she’s had sex on every continent.”

  Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Even Antarctica?”

  I shrugged. “That’s what she claims. I think she’s a pathological liar.”

  She twirled a piece of hair with her fingers. “Yeah? On what grounds?”

  “You’re a lawyer now?” I laughed, mocking her.

  Amelia stuck out her tongue. “You’re so square. Just tell your story.”

  I watched a couple fly by on skateboards. “Fine. She went on to say she even slept with celebrities. She said she hooked up with Nikki Keys…” My mouth was dry, as if cotton was shoved down my throat.

  She tilted her head. “From Dark Temptress?”

  Shit, here we go.

  “Yeah,” I said coldly.

  Of course the summer I found love I also hooked up with two rock stars.

  “Hmm, sounds like Nikki gets around.” She coughed. It sounded fake. “Perhaps you and that girl should hit Malibu together next summer?”

  Ouch. I didn’t mind being a slut for a season, but since Jason came into my life, that seemed like a silly way to spend a vacation.

  I flinched like a bee stung my lips. “What? Why?” I bit my tongue before saying something I’d regret later.

  She bumped
my shoulder with hers. “It was a joke, a lame one at that. Just because you like to party…never mind. I’m sorry.”

  I rubbed my temple, trying to ease the pounding in my head. “Okay, I’m going to ignore the fact that you basically called me a slut, like her. I thought of something else.”

  She grinned. “Yeah? Shoot.”

  “You just want the awkward moment to pass. Remember, I don’t forget things,” I said, giving her a pointed look.

  She laughed nervously. “You were saying about a story…”

  A smile cracked my lips. Amelia feared me like a zebra catching sight of a lioness across the watering hole. It was despairing but hilarious at the same time. “So in my ethics class, our professor showed a western for some insane reason. Not even halfway through the film and most of the class was asleep, I mean like eighty people. I had to chew gum to stay awake, and that almost didn’t help.”

  She put her hand to her forehead. “Of course westerns put people in this day and age asleep. That’s why they stopped making them.”

  I looked at my cell phone to check the time. “I don’t know what he was thinking. Maybe he wanted to take a nap himself.”

  “I bet. Is he old?”

  “He’s like sixty, I think,” I said, sliding my phone into my back pocket.

  “I see.” She looked at the art building. “I need to get going. See ya at the dorm.”

  “Yeah, see you later.” We hugged and parted ways. She ran up to the only building on campus that was painted three different colors: orange, green, and blue. I turned the corner and walked to the psychology building.

  ***

  During the next few days, work kept piling up. School had barely started, yet I already felt like I was falling behind. Essays and tests were constantly breathing down my neck. What I needed was a break, time to step away from the planner and everything in it. Only I had to finish this week’s assignments before I could enjoy anything. What I truly needed was a freshman to pay off to do my work. Since that only works in movies, I had to deal with all the work on my own.

  To keep myself focused, I went to the Hays Library to study and avoid being distracted. The library was three levels and divided by how much noise was allowed. The first level was the loudest and the third was dead silent. Knowing me, I’d find someone to talk to just so I could waste time and not work on what needed my immediate attention. No, I had to drag myself and my laptop to the third floor.

  Luckily there were only a handful of people nearby. They were scattered around with their noses in books or glued to their laptops. As for me, I found my place at a round wooden table. I spread all my stuff across the surface in a matter of seconds. It was like me to do a twelve-page midterm essay in one day. I needed to get more into school and stop being a damn procrastinator.

  After skimming countless articles and searching websites, I finally had a few pages typed. I was in the middle of a thought when I felt something touch my back. When I turned around, there was not a soul to see. I felt my eyes narrow. Perhaps I was working too hard and it was driving me closer to insanity.

  I was able to let it roll off my shoulder when something on the ground caught my eye. It was a perfect paper airplane. With a quick glance around, I picked it up. After unfolding it, I found that it was completely blank.

  “How strange,” I muttered to myself.

  Turning back to my laptop, I crumpled up the once paper airplane and sat it next to my empty water bottle. It was hard to get back into my essay when the skin between my shoulder blades itched like someone was watching me.

  A few minutes slipped by. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder. Anger licked up my arms and made my heart beat a little faster. What I wanted to do was yell at whoever thought it was funny to toy with me when I had finally buckled down to write my essay. The only thing keeping me from doing that was the “silence zone.” If you broke the rules of the library, you were banned. Harsh but true.

  Take a deep breath and face down the intruder. I nodded at the voice in my head and turned around.

  Was I seeing things?

  The person who stood inches from me was Jason…my Jason.

  Chapter Seven

  “How…how…?” I was at a loss for words. My tongue felt thick in my mouth, preventing me from saying anything that made sense.

  Jason flashed a wicked grin. “Hey, Syd.”

  I shot up out of my seat and wrapped my arms around him. He felt real. Normally I was the one being crushed by hugs, but today I was the crusher.

  “Surprised to see me?” he whispered in my ear.

  My only response was pressing my lips to his. If this was a dream, I never wanted to wake up again.

  People cleared their throats, unhappy about our reunion. We broke away from each other before we could truly get a taste. Jason took a seat across the table. He looked hotter than the last time I saw him. His silver eyes sparkled like stars and his lips were curved in a grin.

  It felt like the world was swaying. I sat back down and held onto the table so I didn’t fall off my chair. After blinking a few times, I realized I wasn’t dreaming. Jason was in front of me.

  A part of me still wouldn’t believe my eyes. They could play tricks on me, especially after spending so much time working on that damn essay. I reached out and touched his hand, needing to feel his skin again. My Jason sat before me in flesh and blood…but how?

  His smile went all the way to his eyes. He enjoyed psyching me out. “How’s it going?” he asked casually, like he was supposed to meet me in the library.

  “What are you doing here?” I couldn’t keep the shock out of my voice.

  Two Korean girls gave us the evil eye and shushed us.

  He leaned back in the chair. “Can’t I come visit my favorite girl?”

  The girls shushed us again, with more intensity. Either Jason and I had to write messages to each other or we needed to get out of the quiet zone. If I was banned, I didn’t know where I’d do my last minute homework.

  I mouthed. “We should go.”

  He nodded and helped me pack up my things. Even without words, I felt like I was under some kind of spell. Every time Jason brushed my arm, I felt electricity.

  Once outside, I dropped my backpack and threw my arms around Jason’s neck. “How dare you surprise me like that! When did you get here? How did you find me?”

  “Whoa! Calm down, Syd. Am I on trial for murder or somethin’?”

  My smile hurt my face, but it wouldn’t let up. “You appearing out of thin air is ludicrous!”

  He laughed and pushed me off of him. “Didn’t appear out of thin air. Drove here. Wanna get some food?”

  “We can go to the Student Union for some grub and then you’re telling me everything.” I pointed at him, trying to be sincere.

  “Of course.” Jason kissed my forehead and picked up my backpack. He bowed to me and said, “Show me the way to the food.”

  It was hard to be upset at him for sneaking up on me. He came just to be with me. That had to mean something.

  The Student Union was packed with bodies, like it normally was just about every hour. Coffee World was everyone’s go-to station. It was almost like a gas station for humans. Jason and I avoided the crowd and zigzagged through the tables and chairs to the other side. On the wall to our right were five televisions showing the news, sports, and other things. The sound was muted and the pictures didn’t mean anything to me.

  “What are you in the mood for? This place has almost everything but fine dining restaurants.” I swept my arm in front of me to show how big the place was.

  “Anything? What if I’m in the mood for a burger?” He gave me a smirk.

  “Downstairs at Burger Queen.”

  “Tacos?”

  I pointed to the right. “Around the corner is Taco Shell.”

  He shook his head and placed his hands on my hips. His touch created a spark that sent flames tearing into my heart, melting the ice that had begun to build up again. “Wow, wha
t about a sub?”

  I ran my hands up his strong arms and said, “Mad Sub is literally neighbors with Burger Queen.”

  Jason clutched his chest. “Be still, my heart. Is this heaven?”

  I giggled and smacked his arm. “Why would it be heaven?”

  He hooked his fingers into my belt loops and pulled me into him. The scent of lavender intoxicated me. “Because just about all the food I love is under one roof and the woman who seems to have stolen my heart is finally with me.”

  Heat burned my cheeks. I blushed and it wouldn’t cease. “You’re such a romantic.” I tried to avoid saying something sappy because if I did there’d be no turning back.

  He shrugged.

  Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

  I traced his jawline with my fingertip. “Aristotle. Don’t you start thinking you can use quotes on me. That’s my thing!”

  Jason leaned in, and I thought he was going to kiss me in front of everyone. If I tasted him now, I was going to explode and we’d be doing things I could get kicked out of school for. Instead he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What are you in the mood for?” he whispered.

  I swallowed my fear of creating a wildfire and closed the gap between us. I kissed his lips, and I felt complete. He tasted like salt and peppermint, like coming home to the beach with its warm sand and sparkling ocean. My hand had a mind of its own. It trailed down Jason’s shirt.

  “Not here,” he said, his lips still pressed to mine.

  “Get a room!” some guy called out.

  Asshole, don’t you know I haven’t seen my love in a lifetime!

  Did I just call Jason my love?

  I guess I did, and the world didn’t fall apart!

  “Wanna get out of here?” he asked.

  “Like a kitten wants milk.”